Lessons from the First Church: They think they Know You (Acts 17)

I am a P.K., a preacher’s kid. My dad pastored for over 20 years in the same place, and during that time the church grew significantly. If you’re from Beulaville or the surrounding area, you probably know his name. He’s not famous, but he is known. Because he is known, I am known. My brother is known. We’re “David’s boys.”

I’ve been told my whole life that I look like my dad. But one moment has always stuck with me. The first day of my freshman year, I walked into the cafeteria at East Duplin. That can be an anxiety inducing moment, but I had friends, so I sat down and didn’t think much of it. Then a lunch lady started walking across the cafeteria, looking straight at me like she knew me.

She came right up to the table, looked me in the eyes, and asked, “Are you David’s boy?”“Yes ma’am,” I said.Then she said something I’ve never forgotten. “You move just like him.”People have always told me I look like my dad, but no one before or since has ever told me I move like him.

That’s what it’s like being a preacher’s kid. People think they know you. They talk to you like they’ve known you your whole life, and you don’t know them from Adam. So you learn to smile, nod, and answer in a way that makes them feel like you remember them. But the truth is they don’t really know you at all. They know your name. They know your dad. Maybe they heard him preach once or kept you in the nursery years ago. They think they know you, but they don’t.

And if we’re honest, social media has made this true for everyone. We can scroll through someone’s life and convince ourselves we know them. We form opinions and make assumptions before we’ve ever shaken their hand or looked them in the eye. We think we know them, but we don’t.

The same is true for our churches. Whether we realize it or not, our community already has a perception of our church. That perception might come from your Facebook page, your website, how someone in your church treated their cousin at the grocery store, or even just what your building looks like from the road.

And here’s the reality. That perception might be the very thing keeping people away. So how do we know what our community thinks about our church? We start by asking a better question. Do we know our community? The community knows your church. That is a given. But do you know them?

When you read the second half of the book of Acts, it can feel repetitive. Paul enters a city, preaches in the synagogue, then in the marketplace. The Jews get angry, he is opposed or beaten, and he leaves town only to do it again somewhere else. But if you look closer, there is something subtle happening. Paul does not change his message, but he does change how he communicates it.

In Berea, he reasons through the Old Testament Scriptures. In Athens, he quotes a Greek poet. Why? Because Paul knew his context. He took the time to understand the people in front of him, and he spoke in a way they could actually hear. That is what we have to learn to do. We have to exegete not just Scripture, but our community.

So how do we do that? First, be in it. Practice the ministry of presence. Go to the Friday night football game. Show up at the Christmas band concert. Eat at the one restaurant everybody in town goes to. Sit where the same group of seniors gathers for breakfast. And when you are there, do not feel like you have to perform. Just be present. Watch. Listen. Pay attention. What are people talking about? What do they care about? Who is connected to who? When you do this, you begin to see what your community values. At the same time, your presence shows your community that you care enough to be there.

Then, once you have been present, start asking questions. Learn the story of your community. Get to know people, not in a gossiping way, but in a genuinely interested way. Learn the rhythms of everyday life. Because when you understand those things, you begin to understand the people. And when you understand the people, you begin to see how your church is actually perceived and how it can better reach them.

That changes everything. Now your outreach is not guesswork, it is intentional. You plan around real life. You recognize real needs and respond in ways that actually serve your community.

And it shapes how you disciple your people.Because the question is not just, “Are we doing programs?”The question is, “Are we making disciples who can actually reach the people around them?”When you know your community, you can equip your people to live on mission right where they are.

And when you truly know your community, you can love it well.You can show up in moments of tragedy. You can support teachers, nurses, and first responders. You can pray specifically because you understand what people are facing.When you know your community, your love becomes personal, not generic.

And that is the point.Because people may think they know you. They may think they know your church.But real ministry begins when you take the time to truly know them.